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Welcome to Bangkok- Warning, XXX content!

May 2, 2012

Home Sweet Khao San

I’m here! I’m actually on the Khao San Road in Bangkok! After all that planning and day-dreaming and saving and wasting time I’ve finally touched down in Asia. Thank Buddha. It’s amazing here, you can wander down the road and buy yourself the nicest food for a few pence straight off the street. So far I’ve had Pad Thai (in large quantities), spring rolls, seasoned corn, quail eggs, eye-wateringly spicy papaya salad, mango and blueberry smoothies, and all manner of other things. Rachel, one of my fellow teachers, was even brave enough to go for barbequed grasshopper but that was too much for me, besides, it would be breaking vegetarian code. I am half-tempted to try one though; I might do it if I’ve had enough Chang.

Leaving home wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I think by that point I’d said so many goodbyes that I was ready to be gone although leaving my parents was very hard. One minute we were all together and then the next thing I knew it was a hasty goodbye and security and gone, it was hard to hold back tears as I waited in line to go through the gates. Once inside I hated it, it was just a massive shopping mall relentlessly selling boring perfume and other over-priced unnecessary tat. I wished I’d stayed longer with my parents instead of having to wait for ages in this horrible crowded place. The flight was long and claustrophobic and saw me sandwiched between an angry Japanese lady who didn’t say a word and a chubby older British guy – who I immediately assumed was not coming to Thailand for its temples and dramatic landscapes. Stuck in the middle seat of the middle aisle I was as far from a window as possible which was disappointing. I fidgeted constantly and eventually dozed off watching films. The air hostesses were something special though; evidently EVA air doesn’t hire from a country with anti-discrimination laws since every one was under 25, female and a perfect Thai lotus flower with small white hands, slender necks and immaculate hair.

I on the other hand have become accustomed to being unattractive; other people seem to pull off looking flushed and traveller-chic, I look like a frizzy-haired pink pig that’s been boiled in brine. Wearing clothes that are flattering is irrelevant when considering what will be comfortable and make-up would be absolutely pointless as it would melt off your face before you even got to the end of the road. Likewise I’m not about to completely boil my brains by using the hostel hair dryer.

We are staying at the Nap Park hostel near the Khao San Road and it’s fantastic. If I was on holiday and had limited time I would be trying to squeeze as much out of every day as possible but since I’m moving here I’m just doing what I fancy. It’s just too ridiculously hot to do anything too strenuous  at the moment since we’ve arrived in peak summer and 40 degree plus heat. As such I’ve done a lot of just wandering around exploring, I went to the weekend market with Rachel and we visited our first temple yesterday.

We also went for dinner with a couple of guys on Sunday, one of which was an Andorran named Mark who was sad that it was his last night in Bangkok and he’d never got to see a ping pong show. I bet you can guess what happened next! We headed back to the hostel so I could get some more cash out of my locker and suddenly acquired a further 7 guys who wanted to come with us, one of which was teacher no. 3, Waz, who joined our group of largely Germans and Argentineans. I took my first tuk-tuk ride with three of the guys whilst everyone else piled into a taxi  – the driver wasn’t the slightest bit concerned about people sitting on each other’s laps to squeeze themselves in. The ping-pong show itself was an experience; our tuk-tuk/taxi convoy arrived in a sort of concrete yard behind a building and after a bit of haggling and deliberating we headed inside, I’d barely sat down when a banana shot from the barrel of a *ahem* landed within a few inches of my foot. The actual ping-pong bit was only ok but when she whipped out 4 metres of lit Christmas lights and decorated the place with them I was very impressed. When she followed that with metres and metres of satin that she tied around poles and did cirque du soleil style tricks with I was even more so. The drinks were expensive and after a while they began the routine again from the start so we commandeered 3 tuk-tuks to bring us back to Khao San. The tuk-tuks decided to race and since I was sitting on the floor of one due to over-crowding I had to be pinned in by various legs to stop me flying out the open sides as we careened the twenty minute journey home around the streets of Bangkok. It was the most fun I’ve had in ages!

Moving to Lop Buri today; I can’t wait to get settled in my new flat and unpack. Living out of my bag is annoying at the moment as I’ve got a bit too much stuff for just hostel living. Yesterday we went for Thai massages; that was awesome. Us four teachers were all laid out like babies on one massive 4 person bed with a quartet of masseuses who clambered all over us, yanking on limbs and cracking joints. I thought it was going to be really painful but it was actually really awesome. For the equivalent of £4 we had an hour’s massage and when I was lying with my head in a Thai lady’s lap with her legs wrapped round me I thought I was going to fall asleep I was so relaxed as she kneaded my skull.

The hostel here is different to those in Egypt, the average age is quite a bit younger and the average blood alcohol percentage is considerably higher. There have been moments when that’s been a bit annoying but mostly it’s been great and there’s been lots of cool people. We went for dinner last night with an American named Jessica who had also been to Cairo. She had the same thought as me wherein once you’ve done Cairo no city seems that crazy; even Bangkok. Comparatively it’s clean, affluent, quiet and calm!

I have been eaten alive by a bug which I suspect is somewhere in my bed since I’ve always got loads more when I wake up each morning and no-one else has any. My legs and bum are absolutely covered in massive itchy lumps. So far that’s the biggest issue but it’s all still awesome.

I heart Bangkok!

 

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 3, 2012 4:35 am

    I’ve heard of the ping pong (also a hard boiled egg) trick but have never seen it. And a flying banana! I’m jealous!

  2. May 4, 2012 11:12 pm

    I have heard of being hot, but 4 metres of lighting must have been painful and the thought of metres of satin wet or dry does not bare thinking about. Well, it must certainly have been an experience and I hope that the Andorran, German, Argentinian and Waz (presumably American) man/men appreciated your largess as a tour guide. Only you could end up in that position, but how else could anyone say they have experiences the delights (?) of that amazing city.

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